Like a really bad Japanese horror flick...

Today I was minding my own business, enjoying a leisurely Sunday afternoon and trying to clean up my kitchen a little before making a grilled cheese sandwich. I hear this noise of movement and of course I think it is the "fucking bastard", or mouse. But oh no, it wasn't mousie. Instead, I see a STREAM of dirty water coming through the wall and down the floor of my kitchen. HOLY FUCK, WHAT THE HELL IS IT? IS MY APARTMENT POSSESSED BY A REALLY PISSY EVIL SRIRIT?? It sounded like a waterfall was in my apartment, and I don't mean in that very zen water trickling way.

I frantically grab my nice bath towels and any other absorbent material in an attempt to stop it. SO MUCH water was coming down. I check my coat closet and it's streaming down the heat pipe in there and spattering on my newly dry cleaned coat. DAMMIT.

More bath towels.

But now it's dripping from the ceiling in the kitchen so I have to put buckets down. Water is filling up into my bathroom light fixture. THIS CANNOT BE A GOOD SIGN.

I run upstairs thinking I need to ream out the girlupstairs. She has the same problem. Except:

1. She doesn't have a coat closet like I do (interesting)

2. She just moved in so her shit is still in boxes and easy to move out of the way of the deluge. I have 2 years of stuff in those closets.
Anyways, we run into other neighbors. We call the super. He's "5 hours away in NJ". Is there really any place in NJ that is 5 hours away? Because I can drive PAST Providence to visit Sonya in less time than that. WTF. We call the landlord, but really, what can a call service to for us when water is running down the walls. We call 911 so the fire department can come and shut off the water. God Bless NY's Bravest.

And so, I have now moved all of the shit out of my closets and out of the way of the nasty ass water. There are no longer streams of water flowing down my floor or along the walls, although my ceiling is still leaking. Look at my recycling bin:

Yes, that is half full of nasty dark water. So disgusting.

And now I am a very, very sad cookie who is wet, dirty and stressed out. I never got a chance to make that grilled cheese either. BOO.