Out of Office Reply

Hello,
I will be out of this blog from Thursday, March 23 through April 9th. If this is an urgent matter, please go to http://fortunetravels.blogspot.com

Thank you,
Fortune Cookie

Seafood -- for a better life

I have seen this ad all over the subways and it disturbs me to no end (and not just because I don't eat invertebrates and the thought of eating anything found in NYC waters seems unhealthy):

www.nyseafood.com

Healthy Beginnings

So this mother fish is carrying a cell phone and she is carting her baby fish around in a fish bowl. They all look happy. But aren't all of these fish going to die and be eaten by us?

Strong Bodies

I'm sorry, is it me, but is that lobster running along the Brooklyn Esplanade? In running shorts?

Smart Minds

That crab is typing away on a laptop. Enough said.

Long Lives

WTF?! They are trying to get us to eat more seafood. These fish are not going to live long.

What a gross misrepresentation of sea creature's lives.

Dear Tenant,

I am a good tenant. My rent is never late, I don't complain much, and I've never set fire to my apartment or the building. But for some reason, every time I get a letter from my landlord, I am overcome with dread. There's no reason I should be concerned about being evicted, and there's no legal way they can suddenly increase my rent by 500%. But the anticipation is worse than opening a college acceptance letter.

I have issues. I know.

And of course, the letter is always something benign like a notice about the new intercom system or garbage cans.

Sigh.

____________________________________________

Totally unrelated story:

I was meeting a friend for a drink before the opera (so cultured, no?) and got to the bar first. The only open seat at the bar was next to this 40-something dude drinking a beer. I go up to the seat and take my coat off. The man says to me "I know who is going to be voted off American Idol tonite." I feign polite interest. I may have thrown out a mildly patronizing "Good for you."

I order my whiskey. He attempts again. "I know all FOUR (holds up four fingers) of the contestants who will be voted off." I look at him blankly. And consider sending my friend a quick "GET HERE ASAP. PLZ!" text. He says, "...but you don't really care, do you? You don't watch American Idol?" No.

I open my book and after one final attempt ("Let me ask you one last question and I promise to leave you alone...") he finally left me alone, finished his beer and left.

The moral of the story : do not randomly use lame ass references to popular TV to talk to strangers.

Missing! (Again!)

Dammit.