Candy that lasts forever

I just got a bag of Smarties. I happened to look at the expiration date on the bag: August 10, 2009. That is about THREE YEARS from now. I find this very disturbing. Hopefully I will finish the bag off before then.

Dummies are people too

From my twin, who recently moved to Canada, on her first week at her new job:

On the downside, they are using these mechanical dummies as simulated patients for practice, and these dummies moan. And they moan long and loud. The first time I heard it, you can imagine what I thought I was hearing, but pretty sure I wasn't hearing, but worried that I might be hearing.

I thought that was pretty hilarious.

P.S. Apparently they have now given the dummies the capability to pant (it's supposed to sound like they have shortness of breath.) Good times!

The stressful way to a surprise wedding shower!

Gosh, September has started off crazy! Fortune Cookie has been a busy bee of late.

This past Saturday was the surprise wedding shower for team member Cookie D.

The Original Plan: D's fiance E was going to get her out of the house that afternoon so we could get things ready.

It did not go as planned.

So this is how it went down:

Thursday before:
Frantic emergency email from Little Cookie (now residing down below the Mason-Dixon Line in NC); Aunt Jean decided to invite them to spend the night in NJ. They accepted. They wouldn't be back until Saturday afternoon. We needed a Plan B to get D out of the house. It was up to me and Murphy. We both contacted D about getting together on Saturday. Her original response? I think Sunday may be the nicer of the days so maybe we could aim for that?

Yeah, not gonna work.

Friday before:
But we pulled through and got her to agree to Saturday (go Murphy!)

Saturday (Day of the shower)
12:00PM No word from D. Is she back from NJ? Because she needs to get out of that house before 3:00PM.

12:03PM Anxious call to Little Cookie. She hasn't heard anything either.

12:05PM Murphy calls. D is supposed to arrive approximately 2:00PM. We decide we will just meet up and that will force D to leave her house and come meet us.

2:00PM Waiting on the Queens Plaza subway platform after realizing the train is running express. 3 voicemail messages on my cell. As I'm checking them Cookie D calls. I answer. The train goes by. LOUDLY. She's on the platform too. SHIT.

2:01PM Riding the subway with D & E. Call Murphy. A plan B subpart 1 is formed. I will go back to the apartment with D & E so they can drop stuff off and then we'll meet her at a cafe. Perfect.

2:45PM Euro Delight cafe. Eating crepes. Having lovely time. All is going well. Little Cookie calls for confirmation that the coast is clear. It's a go.

3:30PM Done with the crepes. Crap. We still have to keep her occupied for another two hours.

4:15PM Murphy and E order another round of coffee. More time wasted. Conversation is continued.

4:45PM Panicked call from Little Cookie. They cannot get into D & E's apartment. The lock is funky. They are camping out in the hallway right now. SEND. HELP. FAST.

4:46PM I send a rather obvious signal to E. He gets up to pay the bill, I go up to us the lav. On my way I tell him the situation and that he needs to get over there pronto.

4:50PM I suggest we go get Italian Ice. And the 99 cent store. E says he needs to go home to use the toilet.

4:51PM I love 99 cent stores and can spend hours in them. We managed to drag it out for about 15 minutes.

5:05PM Italian ice is my friend.

5:12PM Stop at new restaurant to peruse menu.

5:14PM Murphy pulls off the best acting job of her life: fakes leg cramp. Stops at a tree to stretch it out.

5:21PM We return to Cookie D's apartment building. We enter the elevator and there is tape all over that says "CAUTION: WILD GIRLS!" and a poster of a cartoon dude in a cheetah speedo. D says "what is up with the tenants in this building!?".

Murphy and I play dumb.











5:22PM SURPRISE!!!! She didn't suspect a thing.

Hee.

p.s. the neighbors totally hated us even though we were well behaved during the party (note: this was posted after they had taken down the decorations in the elevator.)

Bad reputation

So I was waiting for the elevator at work and chatting with one of the recent college grads I train. He asked how I was doing, I told him I was well, except I was a little tired for some reason, possibly because I had some coke the night before.

He pauses. Then asks, "You mean coca-cola, right?"

Um, yeah. Do I look like the kind of person who does a few lines in the bathroom before bed? Crikey. I wonder what sort of reputation I have amongst these young 'uns at work!

Also, in a strange turn of events, at happy hour the other night BFF Bartender was telling us about his personal problems. I thought this was weird since he's the bartender and isn't he supposed to listen to OUR problems? I mean, we're the ones paying, not him. I guess that just means that we are truly regulars and our relationship with BFF has been taken to a new level? hmmm...

I woke up this morning to the weather report on the radio. Something about 40mph winds. This doesn't seem right. Or safe.