Kicks reversion

At dinner the other night, the topic of properly tying your shoelaces came up. MT demonstrated, and I immediately went to put my shoes on and try out the new technique.

Until I realized that I was wearing Vans slip-ons. And that I don't really own shoes with laces. (Except my running shoes, and maybe a pair of old Vans I wear in the summer.) Does this mean I'm either too lazy to be bothered with laces or I'm reverting back to childhood when shoes were always slip-on or velcro?

Here are instructions for tying shoelaces (It's called a Granny knot):

1. Entire Right lace crosses over Left lace.
2. Then bring the Right lace under the Left lace.
3. Hold end of Right lace in right hand, hold end of Left lace in left hand.
4. Pull both ends at the same time and tighten.
5. Then make your traditional bow to finish up the process of tying your shoelaces the correct way.

Your bow will look perfect. The bow won't look crooked on your shoe. It will lie perpendicular to the length of your shoe. And, more importantly your shoelaces will not come undone because you tied them in a Granny knot. You tied them the right way. The only difference is that with the Granny knot you always start with the Right lace always crossing over the Left lace.

So there.

Project File: Thank You!

Project File: Vodka Infusions

We had a mini vodka infusing party this week, using mint, rosemary, peppercorns, cranberries and citrus fruits in various combinations. Sadly, we will have to wait a few weeks before we can drink it.

Kicking off the new year...with a new age...

It was my birthday this week, and although I'm not for the whole aging process and the fact that when I get carded they hand back my license with a new respect for their elder (look, I can't help that I look young for my age, but I certainly look older than 21), I love celebrating. This week included Psychic Nite, pizza happy hour, dinner & cake with Maddog and E$, a party at Elsa bar, a RockBand potluck, and to top things off, Professional Bull Riding championships at the Garden. (Yes, I was shocked to find out they came to New York, too. )

My birthday year forecast:
A more sociable year than usual is ahead of you, perhaps at times at the expense of work and responsibilities! New connections can be made through shared intellectual and cultural interests. Openness to change is a valuable asset this year. Major restructuring of your life will help you to clear your head and to get your priorities straight.

More sociable? REALLY? Because quite frankly, it's barely over a week into 2010 and I'm exhausted. Last year was insanely busy as it is--I don't know if I can kick it up a notch. Also, I'm not sure about this "restructuring" of my life. I like how it is structured. That seems to imply I will fire some friends and reassign responsibilities.

Happy New Year!

Mall Cops: Mall of America

Really?

TLC aired this as a one hour special and has expanded it into a 12 episode series. The show "shares the story of the men and women who work the security team at Mall Of America."

I worked many years at the MOA, and although it is huge with an amusement park, aquarium and wedding chapel, I really didn't think it was that hardcore. Maybe I was just insulated from the terror while folding jeans at the Gap...

Happy Holidays!

The holidays came a little faster than expected and I found myself less prepared than usual. This year I didn't get around to making all of the things I had planned on. However, I did manage to make holiday cards. I seem to be on an every other year schedule:






















Yes, each one was cut by hand. No folding and cutting. I traced from a template and cut. Like real snowflakes, no two are alike. (Yes, I had a lot of free time over Thanksgiving.)

And here's the one from two years ago, when my mini-donk obsession began:

















HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

Meatball Cookoff 2009

It was time again for the annual Meatball Cookoff! As with every year, competition was tough, meatballs were eaten and judged, winners were crowned and good times were had by all.

This year, the winners were:

• Best Meatball (round robin judging): Party Balls
• Best Non-Traditional (non-Italian): Meat Your Maker
• Audience Favorite: Y Tu Meatball Tambien
• The three above competed for the Championship (winner's belt): Y Tu Meatball Tambien
• Best Team Name: Y Tu Meatball Tambien

For the second year in a row, Dirty Cookie (Team: Y Tu Meatball Tambien) took the Audience Favorite trophy, the Championship belt, AND the prize for best team name!

Aside: I was in charge of drawing the names of judges. In the second round of the competition, it came down to Aaron and Dirty and I drew my own name. Yikes. Now, these are two of my best friends--and I have a birthday coming up--so I did what anyone would do: quietly drew another name instead.

Project File: Carrot Terrarium

I recently went to a cousin's wedding (no flashing eyed lobster slaw. whew.) and was handed the centerpiece to take home. I took it, not for the floating candle, but for the nice cylindrical vase. Those things tend to come in handy, and I thought it would be good for a terrarium. Ellen suggested planting some carrot seeds Maddog's piano teacher had given her--that way we could chart the progress of the root vegetables. We'd also have something to eat!

Here we are at 2 weeks...and things are starting to grow...

Brazil nut: okay or no?

My friend Carla once told me the story of a friend of hers, whose parents told her early on that she was allergic to alcohol. She wasn't allergic--they did this in an effort to curb any Girls Gone Wild tendencies. So said friend never drank, thinking she'd go into anaphylactic shock if she did.

One day, Carla and the friend went to the mall and had some Rainforest Brittle, a kind of peanut brittle made with Brazil nuts and cashews. Well, turns out fake booze-allergy friend was, unknowingly, severely allergic to Brazil nuts. Her throat closed up after a bite of brittle and they had to rush her to the emergency room. Don't worry, she survived.

There are a few lessons here:

• Don't lie to your kids about their health
• Get tested for allergies
• Beware Brazil nuts

This weekend I was given a canister of mixed nuts: cashews, almonds, pecans, macadamia (which I already know I am mildly allergic to) and--you guessed it--Brazil nuts. I have never had a Brazil nut before and I didn't know if I had an allergy like fake-booze allergy girl, but her Rainforest brittle story was a warning. However, I was hungry and the largest nuts in the can were calling to me. I was alone, so there would be no ride to the ER, no one to grab the epi pen which I don't own. So I gingerly took a small bite. No sudden closing of air passages. All clear!

Whew. Funny enough, I don't find Brazil nuts to be that tasty.

Live and learn.

My Mom, the Sharpshooter

Mom went to South Korea for a guided apple picking tour. I wasn't entirely sure why the sudden interest in going apple picking, considering she lived in MN for over thirty years and we never once went to an orchard (or farm, for that matter.)

Anyways, she had a great time and it came out several weeks later that she had also gone to a shooting range in Korea. It was only $10. And it turns out Mom is a pretty good shot. Who knew?

Busted!

The institution I work for has made a huge effort to "go green, " which I think is wonderful. I have been advocating for better recycling for years, and I am known in my office for shutting down not only my own computer, but those of my neighboring coworkers (yes, I make sure they have left for the day.) I am also the one who promptly shuts off the light for the copy room at 5pm.

So imagine my dismay and embarrassment when I received this email today:

Hello,
During this week your computer was left on one or more times. This is just a friendly reminder to please program your computer to shut itself down each night. There is a new program that will allow you to schedule your computer to shutdown at a pre-determined time.

The thing is, I remember coming in one morning and noticing my computer hadn't shut down. I have auto-shutdown scheduled for 6:30pm. What they don't tell you is that if there is an error closing a program, the computer won't shut down. So it really wasn't my fault, right? RIGHT?

Paper show

I don't normally post about art shows I've gone to, but Slash: Paper Under the Knife at the Museum of Art & Design was fantastic. Granted, paper cutting is very close to my heart and I wish I had the talent, time, and OCD to do it more often.

Here are two of my favorites:

Shed. Thomas Demand

He takes scenes from found photographs, makes a 3D recreation in paper (yep, everything above--including that yellow sponge--is made out of paper), then photographs it.

Concretion/Conglomerate. Shaul Tzemach

I wasn't sure if it was hand or laser cut at first. It's hand cut. With an X-acto knife. Amazing. There is an extremely high level of OCD involved if you cut paper to mere millimeter widths by hand. (This picture doesn't do the intricate detail justice.)

Please check out this show.

Begrudgingly saving lives one drop at a time

I donated blood today. I will confess that there are incentives for me to give blood: an extra vacation day if I donate five times in a 12 month period AND a free gift each visit. I have been trying to get the free blood donation umbrella for the last several years. They always claim it's seasonal, and I always happen to donate off season. Which means that instead of an umbrella, I am the proud owner of an XXL t-shirt, and countless tote bags.

This time I thought I was going to get lucky: one of my coworkers had the coveted prize, earned a mere 2 weeks ago.

They were out of umbrellas today. I got another tote bag. Dammit.

Also, they gave me a red bandage afterwards that stinks of burnt food. It makes me look like I am either bleeding profusely or part of some resistance movement.


Sigh.

OMG, MINIDONK!

We took a mini-roadtrip upstate this weekend. At one of the Finger Lakes wineries they had a mini-donk! Meet Doobie, the very first mini-donk I've met. I'll admit, he wasn't as cute as some of the pics of mini-donks I've seen, nor was he as mini as I expected. However, he was super sweet and friendly and came right up to me.

No, we did not try to take him home with us.

fungus!

The moss terrarium is doing well enough to grow a little mushroom!

Duck, duck, fowl

Ask any Minnesotan to complete the sentence "Duck, duck, _____," and they will undoubtedly yell, "Gray duck!"

Ask anyone from the remaining 49 states and they will undoubtedly say, "Goose!"

Per Wikipedia:
Duck, duck, goose (called Duck, Duck, Gray Duck in Minnesota) is a traditional children's game often first learned in pre-school or kindergarten.

Also: http://www.gray-duck.com/gray-duck/duck-article.jpg

The funny thing is, Minnesotans are absolutely shocked to learn that no one else in the country calls it Duck, Duck, Gray Duck. Personally, I take a little 10K lakes pride in the fact that we play it our own special way. We also call soda "pop" and mint chocolate chip ice cream "peppermint bon bon."

World's Finest

Most of us had to fundraise for something or other at school: band, student council, cheerleading, etc. I have very fond memories of World's Finest chocolate bars. Milk chocolate with almonds. I remember selling them in high school and eating at least half of the cases myself. I miss my metabolism from those days.

It's hard to find those candy bars in New York. The kids I know aren't quite old enough for it yet, and similar to the Girl Scout Cookie problem, it's not safe for them to go door to door. I have to rely on their parents bringing them to work and that's a little tricky.

Last week I saw a woman on the train with a case of World's Finest. It was 8:30AM and just a little too early for me to approach her about them. Then this morning the girl who sits behind me asked me if I wanted any chocolate (duh, of course I do) because she knew I really liked this kind. She had a handful of World's Finest bars.

Cue jumping up and down, clapping hands in glee. Then I asked her where she got them. Someone in my office was selling them, but didn't see the need to announce it. Of course I immediately ran over there and offered to buy every damn one of them. Sadly, only two almond ones were left. Even sadder was when I realized they had changed the formulation--no more whole almonds, just almond bits. I know times are hard and all, but the best part was biting into that big almond.

I still plan on buying some more, though. I mean, I have to support St. Catherine of Genoa School, right?

addendum: The coworker got her hands on six additional almond bars. I bought them all even though there are only almond bits. I also bought 2 krisps and 2 caramel bars to make it an even $10. I plan on sharing the love, not hoarding them in my snack drawer.

The Assassination of Fortune Cookie

I received a call at work today from a manager in another department. At the end of the call, she mentions that she was chatting with this employee we know who is rather weird and socially awkward. They were talking about her finishing up grad school and what she wanted to do after she received her masters degree.

Her response: "I want Fortune Cookie's job."

Uh. That's very specific, right?

It's fine and all, but you, dear reader, probably know more about what I do at work than this girl does. It's not just me looking pretty and teaching a class every few weeks. I told a friend about this and she asked if it was more a statement of admiration or will there be an assassination attempt in the future? Honestly, I think the latter.

Although, even with me out of the picture, it's unlikely they would hire this girl for my job. Weird and socially awkward do not a Fortune replacement make.

In the meantime, I'll still keep an eye on her...

Out of Office Reply

Fortune Cookie is currently making a mini-donut run to the Minnesota State Fair.


http://fortunetravels.blogspot.com/

My Super Sweet 16

The end of this month marks my 16th anniversary of moving to New York City. I came here for college when I was 18 years old with one suitcase, and now I have accumulated more possessions (and memories) than I could ever account for.

But this post isn't about my last sixteen years in the city or how I love it and have no plans to leave New York until I reach the point when flying in and seeing the Manhattan skyline no longer causes my heart to flutter--and ease--a little. [Note: this actually did happen once, and that was when I flew over Ground Zero a few months after 9/11 and it was still smoking. I think my heart dropped at that moment.]

This weekend I was at a baby shower for my friend Murphy (of Team Cookie fame) and there were a good number of people I didn't know, so we played the "How do you know her?" game. I know Murphy through Miss Danna, who I met at our very first job out of college. Over the years I've gotten to know many of Danna's college friends and they are all dear friends of mine now. I feel like I am an honorary SUNY Purchase alumna, I know so many people who went there. The funny thing is, I have more friends from there than I do from my own college. Which is about eight blocks away from my house. Most people I know have a tight coterie of college friends. I don't have this at all. [Unless Sonya counts as a coterie?] I have my friends from high school, from grad school x2, from every single job I've ever had, including working at the Gap in high school, but not so much from college. I guess I just didn't stay in touch with any of them.

That's a little weird, right?

But I'm not complaining. I'm happy with what I've got.